I wonder if Steven Schwartz realized what kind of piercing truth his lyrics held when he penned the score of Wicked. I've been listening to it on repeat ever since I arrived back in Sydney last Friday. Since I left New York and before I start work in two weeks, I've had a lot of time to think, thanks to this lovely period of limbo between full time university and full time work with no set agenda or schedule.

Don't wish...Don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart.

I wish...I were back in New York.

I wish...I never had to leave New York.

I wish...for the day when I'll be in New York again.

Don't dream too far. Don't lose sight of who you are.

I wish...I had gone to New York earlier, as I once dreamed.

I wish...some dreams had remained just dreams.

I wish...I had never left, never gone, never loved, never known.

Don't remember that rush of joy...

I wish...to not wish at all.

Sick of studying. Sick of (finance) classes. Sick of assignments which require way too much work for what they are worth to my final grade. Sad I'm missing everyone's 21sts at home. Sad this semester has flown by and I have to leave NYC in just over a month. Sad there isn't enough time in a day to do everything I want to.

What I wouldn't give to live a day out of time and space.

The other day I found a song I wrote three years, three months, ten days and five hours ago. I don't think anyone ever did hear it except for me: once three years, three months, ten days and five hours ago; and once three days and nine hours ago. Even knowing what I know now about songcraft, I can't bear to rewrite any of it. The lyrics are vague and cliché, the rhymes predictable and the music isn't particularly striking or brilliant or unusual. But playing it to myself and hearing it in my mind again, I remember a happier afternoon spent in blissful solitude creating an indelible and tangible memory of a feeling that still lingers in graphite on a sheet of paper that I no longer have.

What I wouldn't give for a Steinway, some manuscript and a serene retreat.

Three days and nine hours ago, I tried to recreate the same feeling and I failed. "How do you write a song when the chords sound wrong though they once sounded right and rare?" I guess you can't write that song anymore. All I could write - all I can write now - is a completely different song.

I never expected burning my world to ashes would hurt this badly.

Despite how much I love New York City, I've been back for just over twelve hours and I already wish I was away and traveling again. Le sigh. Welp. Adding to my previous list of stuff to catch up blogging on:

• I hate freaking Delta Airlines
• San Francisco - Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf, Downtown SF and SF at night
• Los Angeles - Hollywood, Runyon Canyon and the Walt Disney Concert Hall
• Los Angeles Day 2 - Santa Monica, Westwood and Universal City
• Los Angeles - Downtown LA
• Las Vegas - Grand Canyon West Rim and "O" at the Bellagio
• Las Vegas - The Las Vegas Strip
• Las Vegas - I love being pampered at the Venetian
• Chicago - Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep in, The Loop and Blue Man Group at the Briar Street Theater
• Chicago - the Magnificent Mile, Financial District, Buckingham Fountain
• The road home, or why I really, really hate freaking Delta Airlines

Vegas. Is. Awesome.

I am currently living in the lap of luxury at the Venetian and loving it. It's 6:42 AM here and I just booked myself a massage appointment at 8:00 AM. I'm debating whether I should go and take another bath in the gorgeous bathroom or sleep some more in my king single which is heaped with many soft pillows.

Still haven't decided whether I'll eat a late brunch or to order room service for breakfast (because that would REALLY be living it up Vegas style, right?). I don't want to leave. But my flight is at 3:50 PM so I suppose I should start preparing myself for the life of a poor university student again.

Though then again...I am going to be staying in a suitably swish hotel in Chicago. Nothing as nice as the Venetian of course, but still...

Anyway, photos and more blogging later! I'm going to snooze some more until it's time for my spa appointment.

In Sydney, the sole pretzel store I know of is Pretzel World in Pitt Street Mall which, more often than not, has no one lining up at the counter except for me.

In America, they have Auntie Anne's Pretzels, Pretzel Time and streetside vendors who sell pretzels, everywhere. I finally caved in and went and got myself a traditional pretzel combo at lunch yesterday for $4.50 USD.

Yup. That is a giant salted pretzel that is all lovely and salty and buttery with lemonade and a tub of cheese sauce that is somehow more plastic than that last time when KFC were selling mashies. When I initially got it, I was like, they can't seriously expect it all to be eaten, it's so plastic! But you know what, once I tried it, it was strangely tasty and the whole tub disappeared quite quickly.

Also there are weirdos here who come up to you while you're sitting in the food court and ask you if you have change to spare for a soda. Then when everyone says no, they will ask for spare food. It was really, really weird. By the time she'd been around the small section I was sitting in, she was carrying around like three plastic bags full of food that people had given her.

IKEA used to be my favourite store. No longer. For The Container Store is more awesome, because they have more boxes. I think I nearly got trapped in there, just staring at all the boxes and containers and organisational gear. I only went in there to take a look at their travel-sized refillable bottles for toiletries and I ended up wandering around for an hour wishing I could buy all the stuff and refit my room.

And of course I can't leave out Macy's.

That's nine (ten if you count the cellar) stories of glorious shopping at Herald Square. If you're a foreigner, you can also get 11% off pretty much everything storewide nationwide, including already discounted and clearance stuff. So in preparation for my coming spring break travels and bought myself a High Sierra Swerve backpack discounted to $39.99 USD from $75.00 USD, then got an extra 11% off! Sadly, it's subject to tax so it ended up being something like $38 USD after tax and everything but that's still pretty good.

I love New York.

So I finished up my Corporate Finance case study and sat my Futures & Options mid-term and wondered what I was going to do with a whole evening of lovely free time. Then it hit me. Times Square is only a stone's throw away. I ate an early dinner, scribbled down the addresses of about four different shows and headed out.

I originally meant to see something else, like Chicago or A Chorus Line, but Phantom was the closest theatre to the subway station and I couldn't just walk past. I thought it would be less packed on a Wednesday night but incredibly the line of people wound all around the foyer, out the door and onto the sidewalk. I have loved Phantom for so long that I couldn't resist. Didn't get my beloved front and dead center mezzanine seats as I did for Rent, but I did get front and center rear mezzanine for $36 USD and it was pretty decent.

The Majestic Theatre, 245 West 44th Street.

I got there at about 7:20 PM or so and there was already a huge line of people queuing up and people trying to sell souvenir programs for $10 each (I love Phantom, but not enough to pay $10 for a program). Doors opened at 7:30 PM sharp and I walked into this absolutely gorgeous theatre, all ornate woodwork with gold leaf, plush carpets and velvet, and chandeliers everywhere. Sadly my camera chose this moment to die so all subsequent pictures are from my phone.

Me in the Majestic Theatre.

The ceiling of the theatre.

The stage at the very beginning (prologue/auction scene).

The stage at the very end.

The sets were absolutely fantastic and I wish I had photos. The whole sequence of "Little Lotte/The Mirror" into "I Remember...Stranger Than You Dreamt It" was done brilliantly, with Phantom leading Christine through a trapdoor in the stage then down a tilting walkway from side to side to make it seem like they descended into the bowels of the opera house. Then the lake scene, just wow, there was a lot of dry ice for mist on the lake and the boat and candles gliding around. Other memorable sets were the giant staircase for "Masquerade" which was so lavish and wonderfully done and the roof of the opera house for "All I Ask Of You", oh and the "Hannibal" scene with the giant elephant!

They made really good use of stage space the whole time, there was a walkway on top of the stage where the Phantom cut down the chandelier, and it was connected to the gargoyle where he hid and did "All I Ask Of You (Reprise)".

There's a bunch of miscellaneous comments I had on other stuff about the staging. Costuming and lighting was great for the whole show. There was quite of bit of pyrotechnics used: explosions to signify the flashback in time at the beginning, when the Phantom appears/disappears, then Phantom throwing fireballs in the graveyard scene during "Wandering Child" and there was a point where there were massive gouts of flame going up on stage (I think during Don Juan Triumphant?). Totally. Awesome.

Musically I was so impressed by Howard McGillin. He makes a brilliant Phantom and his voice is so wonderfully expressive. If it were possible to fall in love with a voice, I would be so in love right now. He conveyed such depths of emotion in his singing and then he acted the part of a genius caught between sociopathic violence and a pitiful yearning for unrequited love so perfectly. *swoon* Loved him. Jennifer Hope Wills did pull off a great Christine, but I think my rather subdued praise is due to listening to Sarah Brightman on repeat.

Tim Martin Gleason as Raoul was...good but compared to Phantom and Christine, he just kind of paled beside them. His diction wasn't as clean and crisp and his delivery didn't pull on the heartstrings enough. He seemed to sing at two extremes a lot - he's either "yelling" in a dynamically flat way or a very nice softer, more expressive sound. I wish he had more gradations in his performance, like the other two leads (the ranges in their voices are unbelievable). He's supposed to be the understudy for Phantom; I'm not sure that would work out so good, just because his Raoul didn't really grab me. Patricia Phillips did Carlotta very well too, but I kept thinking about Minnie Driver's version in the film and felt it was a bit too similar and Minnie Driver's version was stronger.

Final comments on musicality before I sleep - orchestra was really, really good. And diction overall was fantastic. You could hear every single consonant being clipped off and it was done so strongly and cleanly that it would echo a little around the theatre. Except for Gleason. He was kind of slack on a lot of his diction. Blah, and now this is ending on a down note. Well, when all is said and done, it was still a great show and I still loved it. But on an overall basis, I'd have to say Rent left a stronger impression on me. Soooo...I will blog about Rent (which I saw like a month ago)...soon!

I know one thing my parents were (and probably are still) quite worried about when I first told them I was going to move to New York for six months was whether I would, in my preoccupation with other things, leave cooking unattended and burn down the apartment. While there has been one incident involving three pieces of toast and the really old oven, on the whole cooking has been quite a success. Observe!

Jan 21: The very first home-cooked meal

Here we have some seafood stir-fry by Jo, dumplings and pre-bought Korean side dishes by Kat and chicken stir-fry and steamed bok choy by me. The chicken took forever because the stove is a crappy electric one which doesn't heat up. This is before we figure out that only one of the four heating elements actually works.

Jan 23: In which I find out the stove's front left heating element is the only functional one

It's smooth sailing after Anna tells me which of the heating elements actually work! Noticed the much improved color of the chicken and egg, signifying that I did not spend two hours waiting for it to cook. I also started getting the hang of the steamer that came with my $20 USD rice cooker which made my fluffy, soft rice.

Jan 27: Laziness starts to kick in

Having eaten most of my meat and being far too lazy to go to Chinatown after class to replenish my supplies, I gleefully open a can of SPAM (yes, that's right, that glorious canned meat) and make myself some fried rice from last night's leftover rice. Behold the tasty wonder that SPAM, chopped bok choy, egg, rice and a little soy sauce can create:

Feb 01: Uh oh...I did NOT account for the lack of a kitchen exhaust...

After having these chicken drumsticks marinating in the fridge for the better part of the week, I finally decide to have them for dinner. And what faster way to cook them than to pan-fry them, right (especially given the fact that I did not at that point in time know how to operate the antiquated oven)? And they sure smelled great as they sizzled away. Unfortunately, I forgot that our crappy old dorm does not have any exhaust fan installed in the kitchen, so to avoid setting off the smoke alarm I did what any logical person would do - I opened the door.

Not five minutes had gone past before my RA came charging down the hallway to close my door because it would apparently set off the entire building fire alarm. Unable (and quite unwilling actually) to open my room window and door (because someone apparently thought you could commit suicide by jumping from the third floor), the smell of tasty cooking chicken permeated our apartment. I ended up eating dinner with the door wide open after the smoke had subsided, then spraying copious amounts of air freshener around. But this was totally worth it:

Feb 07: Laziness wins again!

At this point in time I had eaten just about everything of mine in the fridge, except for this tofu which had been sitting around for a while. Yup, shock-horror, Deborah the carnivore had no meat left. So I made pan-fried tofu in oyster sauce, paying particular heed to my parents' warnings that the tofu would become very watery when I cooked it. I must have bought some kind of different tofu because it remained quite dry throughout. Just thinking about it now has set my mouth watering. I think I'm going to make this again tonight. Tofu doesn't really count as plant, right?

Feb 11: Dining for success

Totally unrelated to my ability to cook and not burn the place down, but food nonetheless. As a poor college student I, of course, have been attending as many interesting seminars and events as possible, particularly where free or very cheap food is offered. This event was run by the NYU Wasserman Center for Career Development and its purpose was to teach you dining etiquette for meal interviews. To top off a very delicious three course meal (I had many tasty canapé things at the mixer, then the roast tomato soup - which is the best western-style soup ever - and the fish), we got some giant, soft, crumbly chocolate chip cookies! There were a ton left over, so I took some home:

I hereby highly recommend The Smith (located between 9th and 10th Street on 3rd Avenue) to everyone. Their food is awesome.

Feb 22: Pauline's Singaporean dine-in!

Pauline's friend sent her a huge bounty in chocolate and Singaporean flavour sauce packet things and she organised a nice night in whereby Michael and Alvin volunteered their apartments and many hands made light work.

Henry playing photographer while Alex, myself, Pauline (head of), Stephanie and Timothy (shirt of) were cooking.

Me cooking the chicken for the rendang chicken curry since the beef was not in an edible condition (photo stolen from Henry).

What on earth is this?! We discover a new lifeform residing in Michael and Alvin's fridge. Apparently it was once some kind of green curry sauce.

Group photo after the cooking is done (photo stolen from Alvin/Henry)! Back row (L-R): Alvin, Michael, Kat, Alex, Carmen. Front row (L-R): Kate, Pauline, Deborah (me), Clare, Stephanie, Timothy, Henry. And all our lovely food front and center!

A close-up of the food. Clockwise from the left: a pot full of laksa, rendang chicken curry (above the pot), spicy samba chilli chicken (or something) in the metal bowl, some raw bean shoots (in the white bowl), some really nice cornstarch battered pan-fried fish in a sweet chilli kind of sauce (in the pink plate), fried rice with egg, onion and garlic (flowery bowl) and the rice vermicelli noodle (white bowl at bottom left corner).

Everyone digging in (clockwise from top left): Michael, Deborah (me), Kat, Alex, Clare, Timothy, Henry, Pauline. Photo stolen from Alvin/Henry.

All in all a very satisfying and delicious dinner! And now to rescue my laundry from the dryer and get started on my Corporate Finance case study.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!! Okay, so it's really more like thirty minutes. Man, I loved the movie version because it was done so well (costumes, set design, lighting, cinematography, etc) but this is pretty spot on. ROFL!

Tried to study for my IB exam tomorrow, failed and decided to go look at the total lunar eclipse tonight at Anna's suggestion.

Sorry for bad picture quality, no tripod plus cold winter night plus point-and-shoot camera wins over 10 megapixels. Anyway, no camera picture compares to actually seeing it. It is pretty cool, especially when you consider that there won't be another total lunar eclipse for another two years.

I only wish I had some firecrackers to set off and some drums and cymbals. Anyway. Back to IB readings.